I stepped away from the national team in 2016. I was selected for the national team camp by the new head coach for the first two camps, including the friendly match against the USA, right before the Rio Olympics.
At the second camp, after we lost 0-3 against Sweden, I told the new head coach that I would prefer to play only for my club team for a while—nothing more than that. But the truth was, there was more to it. I couldn’t express my real feelings to her, yet she accepted my decision anyway.
I stepped away from the national team by my own choice and without making a public announcement. Perhaps I could’ve stayed and approached things differently, but I didn’t have the energy or motivation to keep pushing for a better future.
It was a really tough decision to make, and I chose to stay silent about it—until now.
The reason I stepped away was that I felt it was no longer the place where I was supposed to be. Specifically, the new coaching staff didn’t treat us like professional players, which was one of the biggest reasons I decided to leave.
There was no respect for players as professionals, both on and off the field. Players were not evaluated properly, and there were disrespectful actions toward us as human beings. The standards that should have been set at the national team level were not there. This lack of professionalism left me completely exhausted. I’m not sure how professional I am, but I’ve learned a lot over my 20-year career, playing in five different countries.
I came to realize this was how the federation wanted to treat us, and I felt that I didn’t belong there. Other issues were building up as well, as I mentioned in a previous post. I lost the sense of pride I once had for the national team. That’s how I felt personally, and I was only 28 at the time.
For seven years, I stayed silent. But I don’t want to stay silent anymore. I’ve realized that remaining silent doesn’t solve the problem. I want the national team to become a highly professional environment, one that delivers performances that kids and future generations can look up to with respect. I hope it will inspire people around the world.
I made my national team debut in 2004. This is simply the value I hold for the national team, and I believe there are certain things that must be cherished, no matter how times change.
I was honored to represent my country, and wearing the jersey meant a great deal to me. My soul and heart were always there.
I am so grateful for the people with great spirits who surrounded me on the national team. Since I was 16, for 12 years, the time we spent fighting together is something I’ll never forget. They made me feel special, and I will always remember that. I will say it again and again: they are special people to me.
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